Tuesday 28 July 2009

Joke - Irish medical dictionary

Bedlam - humour.

We've been getting rid of brambles from the hedge at the bottom of the garden - uggggh! They're a damn nuisance - they trail everywhere -get into everything - hurt like mad when they catch you. I think I'll have to cut them back as far as I can then pour bleach or something over them - any ideas????

Fred Ashford has just emailed another joke, so I'm pasting it direct onto my blog. Hope you like it. Give it a thumbs-up if you do.

IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY:-

Artery................ The study of paintings

Bacteria..............Back door to cafeteria..

Barium................What doctors do when patients die.

Benign..................What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section.......A neighbourhood in Rome .

Catscan..................Searching for Kitty

Cauterize................Made eye contact with her.

Colic........................A sheep dog..

Coma......................A punctuation mark

Dilate......................To live long.

Enema....................Not a friend.

Fester.....................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula......................A small lie.

Impotent.................Distinguished, well known.

Labour Pain.............Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff............A Doctor's cane.

Morbid......................A higher offer.

Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates.

Node.........................I knew it..

Outpatient...............A person who has fainted.

Pelvis........................Cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative........A letter carrier.

Recovery Room.......Place to do upholstery.

Rectum......................Nearly killed him.

Secretion...................Hiding something.

Seizure.......................Roman emperor.

Tablet.........................A small table.

Terminal Illness........Getting sick at the airport.

Tumour.......................One plus one more.

Urine............................Opposite of you're out.

2 x Condoms...............To be sure, to be sure


Excellent, Fred. Love them.


End of post - Irish medical dictionary.

No comments: