Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Bolton School Registration

Bedlam Humour

Gina and Malcolm Shenton, from North Wales, sent this joke...
Registration on first day back at school in Bolton..........................
The teacher says, "Ahmed Al Sheriah"

"Here Miss"

"Mustafa Al Sheriah "
"Here Miss"

"Fatima El Bindiri "

"Here miss"

"Ali Acmah Shabeeb "

"Here Miss"

"Ali Sun Al En "

no answer

"Ali Sun Al En "

A little girl in a frilly floral dress stands up, hands on hips, chin thrust forward, and says............... "It's pronounced Alison Allen, for fuck's sake."

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Tickle Me Elmo

Bedlam Humour

This joke was sent in by Joyce and Roy Critchlow from Newcastle under Lyme

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. 

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. 

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so they march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. 

At the end of the line Lena is surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena . 'I'm sorry,' he says, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.'