Saturday, 14 September 2013

Bedlam Humour: Ugly Mug

Bedlam Humour

Haha - Ugly mug.

Blobfish 3 Absolutely Rare   Blobfish

Apparently this fish - a blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus) - is unofficially the ugliest creature on earth...

Next post - Bedlam Humour: Steep Road

Thursday, 12 September 2013

Bedlam Humour - A steep road?

Bedlam Humour

A Steep Road

Some people have no idea how to keep their vehicle on the right

Next post - Bedlam Humour: Plane Landing

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Bedlam Humour - Scary Stuff - Plane Landing

Bedlam Humour

This was sent in by retired international model Micheline de Marsac - scary stuff

Next post - Bedlam Humour - Real Biker

Bedlam Humour - A Real Biker

Bedlam Humour

A Real Biker:
Wow, someone gave his bike some 'welly', hahaha. How the hell do you do that?

Couple Sex - joke

Bedlam Humour

Jack Chambers sent in this joke.
An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is a couple sex?

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities that go along with it.

 When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement. Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?

The little girl replied, "Well, Grandma says to tell you that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs.”

Next post - Bedlam Humour: Helpful Old Guys 

Friday, 6 September 2013

Bedlam Humour: Helpful Old Guys

Bedlam Humour

This is another joke from Jack Chambers

Helpful Old Guys
I was in Home Depot the other day pushing my cart around when I collided with a young guy pushing his cart. I said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.

I said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blond hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

I said, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

Most old guys are helpful like that.
Next post - Bedlam Humour: Taxman and Rabbi

Monday, 2 September 2013

The Taxman and the Rabbi

Bedlam Humour

This is another joke from Jack Chambers

The taxman and the Rabbi:
At the end of the tax year the tax office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said; ‘I notice that you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?’
‘Good question,’ noted the Rabbi. ‘We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, then, once a year they send us a free box of candles.’
‘Oh,’ replied the inspector, somewhat peeved that his unusual question had such a practical answer. But he went on in his obnoxious way. ‘What about all the Holy biscuits, what do you do with all the crumbs?’
‘We do the same,’ said the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to catch him out, ‘and once a year the biscuit people send us a free box of biscuits.’
‘I see,’ said the auditor, thinking hard how he could he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. ‘Well, Rabbi,’ he went on, ‘what do you do with all the left over foreskins from the circumcisions that you perform?’
‘Here, too, we do not waste,’ answered the Rabbi, ‘we save up all the foreskins and send them to the tax office and once a year, about now, they send us a complete dick!’

Next post - Bedlam Humour: Time Machine