Friday, 29 June 2012

Insured for Sex


John Evans has sent another joke:

Are you insured for sex? Make sure you get the Correct Insurance for the sex you are having. Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes:
Sex with your wife - Legal & General.

Sex on the telephone - Direct Line.

Sex with your Partner - Standard Life.

Sex with someone Different - Go Compare.

Sex with a Fat bird - More Than.

Sex On the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels.

Sex with a posh bird - Privilege.

Sex with an OAP - Saga

Sex with a transvestite -

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

When a Woman Lies

Bedlam Humour

This was sent in by Ed Goldstraw:

When a woman lies

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river..

When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

The Homicide Defendant


Here's another joke from Jack Chambers

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant,"You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!"

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these heinous crimes but no more short moments of outbursts from you or I'll charge you with contempt and have you removed from the courtroom. Is that understood?"

The chap in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm very sorry, your Honour, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."