Thursday, 19 February 2009

The logic of Spanish post boxes

Bedlam View

Real Costa Blanca - Exploring The Real Spain
Lens Coating - What Everybody Ought To Know
Writing Story Dialogue - 12 Cool Secrets

Sometimes what happens in Spain is beyond me. I wonder at their logic - or lack of it.

Logic? No thank you we're Spanish

I quite often have to make a trip to the post office to return wrongly delivered mail. It isn't as if it's an easy matter, the post office has ridiculous opening hours - from 9am until 11am each weekday. Two bloody hours.... If you forget, you're too late.... it's gone, dead, closed for the day.

What sort of hours are they? Mind you, this ISN'T the crux of my blog. What I'm getting at is the logic of the numbering on post boxes.

Most of us have to purchase or rent a postbox because deliveries to individual houses is a no-no. Okay I accept that. What I DON'T accept is the stupid way they allocate numbers. Postboxes are spread out around the town and SOMEONE decided that the post box numbers at each place should start all over from number one.

I've no idea how many times numbers have been repeated, but I know that my particular number is repeated at LEAST three times, because I've had mail in my box with three different names. Different name, same box number - crazy. There's nothing to differentiate them.

The delivery man has no idea which box belongs to whom. I actually have my name on my box, but no one seems to care - a number is a number and that's that.

Each time I tell them it's incorrect, but the post man just shrugs his shoulders - it's someone else's problem - pass the buck.

Sequential numbers

I'm forever returning mail to the post office with someone else's name on it. Same post box number, different name. How stupid is that? why on earth couldn't they have sequential numbers, then there'd never be a problem.

How many items of mine have been delivered incorrectly? How many other people actually return them to the post office if they're wrong? It pisses me off to think what I'm missing.

Come on Mr. Spanish Postmaster, get your finger out. Use your head. Number the bloody boxes correctly.


How To Describe - Mastering Descriptive Writing
To Write A Story - 20 Ways To Write A Story Better
Story Characters - 7 Cool Ways To Jump-Start Your Writing

End of post - The logic of Spanish post boxes


Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Irish Sausages, please

Bedlam Humour.

My thanks to Jack Chambers for sending this joke -

Irish sausages. 

'Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?' asked the Irishman, walking up to the counter.

The assistant looked at him and said, 'Are you Irish?'

'If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? demanded the Irishman indignantly. 'Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?' Warming to his theme, he went on 'Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would ya? Would Ya?'

The assistant said sheepishly, 'Well no. I suppose not.'

Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman steps it up a gear. 'And if I asked you for frog's legs, would you ask me if I was French? What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?'

'Well, I probably wouldn't,' conceded the assistant.

So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says 'Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?'

The assistant replied, 'Because you're in Homebase.'

If you're offended, tough shit. I enjoyed it.

    End of post - joke - Irish Sausages, please
    *** Irish Sausages, Irish Sausages, Irish Sausages ***

    Sunday, 15 February 2009

    Change of style

    Real Costa Blanca - Exploring The Real Spain
    Lens Coating - What Everybody Ought To Know
    Writing Story Dialogue - 12 Cool Secrets

    Just in case you're wondering what's going on, no, you're not lost. I've changed the look of my blog.

    No I'm not being flippant or 'arty', it's just that I had a few technical problems, and the only way to resolve them was a change of style. Hope it's not too off-putting, hope you get used to it. Whatever you do, don't stop coming.


    How To Describe - Mastering Descriptive Writing
    To Write A Story - 20 Ways To Write A Story Better
    Story Characters - 7 Cool Ways To Jump-Start Your Writing


    Sunday, 8 February 2009


    Bedlam Humour.

    My thanks to Jack Chambers for sending me this. This apparantly is true!

    They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it's embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a stroppy doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

    Most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:
    An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?'

    'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

    The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.'

    'Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' the old man said.

    The receptionist replied: 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.'

    The man replied, 'It's your fault. You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.' The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

    The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes?'

    'There's something wrong with my ear', he stated.

    The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

    'I can't piss out of it,' he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter.
    ---Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

    End of post - joke - DOCTOR'S OFFICE

    Friday, 6 February 2009

    Joke - A sip of vodka

    Bedlam Humour.

    Real Costa Blanca - Exploring The Real Spain
    Lens Coating - What Everybody Ought To Know
    Writing Story Dialogue - 12 Cool Secrets

    Thanks to Jack Chambers for this insight into the delights of vodka sipping -

    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After
    mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

    The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of
    vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.'

    So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the
    sermon , he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon
    his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the

    • 1)Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
    • 2)There are 10 commandments, not 12..
    • 3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
    • 4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
    • 5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
    • 6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
    • 7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
      the spook.
    • 8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
    • 9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he
      was stoned off his ass.
    • 10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
    • 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'Take this and eat
      it for it is my body.' He did not say 'Eat me'.
    • 12)The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry.
    • 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
      grub, Yeah God.
    • 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a
      peter pulling contest at St.. Taffy's.

    Hope you enjoyed.

    End of post - A sip of vodka


    How To Describe - Mastering Descriptive Writing
    To Write A Story - 20 Ways To Write A Story Better
    Story Characters - 7 Cool Ways To Jump-Start Your Writing

    Sunday, 1 February 2009

    O'Hare International airport and Al Capone

    Bedlam Post.

    Real Costa Blanca - Exploring The Real Spain
    Lens Coating - What Everybody Ought To Know
    Writing Story Dialogue - 12 Cool Secrets

    Thanks to Jack Chambers for this contribution


    Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago . Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. Capone was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in
    everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

    Capone had a lawyer nicknamed 'Easy Eddie.' He
    was Capone's lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very
    good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al
    out of jail for a long time.

    To show his
    appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was
    the money big, but Eddie got special dividends, as well. For instance, he and
    his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the
    conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire
    Chicago City block.

    Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and
    gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.

    did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to
    it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was
    withheld. Price was no object.
    And, despite his involvement with organized
    crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to
    be a better man than he was.

    Yet, with all his wealth and influence,
    there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name
    or a good example.

    One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision.
    Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done.

    He decided he would go
    to the authorities and tell the truth about 'Scarface' Al
    , clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some
    semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob,
    and he knew that the cost would be great.

    So, he testified.

    Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a
    lonely Chicago Street . But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift
    he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from
    his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from
    a magazine.

    The poem read:

    'The clock of life is
    wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop,
    at late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a
    will. Place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be still.'


    World War II produced many
    heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch
    He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft
    carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.

    One day his entire squadron was
    sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and
    realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would not have
    enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.

    His flight
    leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of
    formation and headed back to the fleet.

    As he was returning to the
    mother ship, he saw something that turned his blood cold; a squadron of Japanese
    aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet.

    The American
    fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He
    couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor
    could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to
    do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

    Laying aside all
    thoughts of personal safety, he d! ove into the formation of Japanese planes.
    Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy
    plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and
    fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent.

    Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to
    clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible,
    rendering them unfit to fly.

    Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron
    took off in another direction. Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the

    Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding
    his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It
    showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect
    his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft. This took place on
    February 20, 1942 , and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of
    W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor.

    A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat
    at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to
    fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in
    tribute to the courage of this great man.

    So, the next time you find
    yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to
    visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and
    his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

    Butch O'Hare was 'Easy Eddie's' son.


    How To Describe - Mastering Descriptive Writing
    To Write A Story - 20 Ways To Write A Story Better
    Story Characters - 7 Cool Ways To Jump-Start Your Writing

    Al Capone Al Capone O'Hare International O'Hare International

    End of post - O'Hare International airport and Al Capone