Friday, 6 February 2009

Joke - A sip of vodka

Bedlam Humour.

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Thanks to Jack Chambers for this insight into the delights of vodka sipping -

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After
mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of
vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.'

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the
sermon , he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon
his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the

  • 1)Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
  • 2)There are 10 commandments, not 12..
  • 3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
  • 4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
  • 5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
  • 6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
  • 7)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
    the spook.
  • 8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
  • 9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he
    was stoned off his ass.
  • 10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
  • 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'Take this and eat
    it for it is my body.' He did not say 'Eat me'.
  • 12)The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry.
  • 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
    grub, Yeah God.
  • 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a
    peter pulling contest at St.. Taffy's.

Hope you enjoyed.

End of post - A sip of vodka


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