Wednesday, 12 June 2013

joke - Review of Britain's NHS

Bedlam Humour

Elsie Smith has sent me another joke and I thought you might enjoy it as well.

Review of Britain's NHS system
  1. The British Medical Association has weighed in on the new Prime Minister David Cameron's health care proposals.
  2. The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
  3. The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
  4. The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.
  5. Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
  6. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"
  7. The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
  8. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The ENT specialists wouldn’t hear of it.
  9. The Internists thought it was a diagnosis in haste, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."
  10. The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
  11. The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
  12. The Pharmacists were left to contemplate the bitter pill, The Opticians could not see any light at the end of the tunnel.
  13. In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in London .. 
Brill joke, Elsie. Thanks.

Next post - Bedlam Humour: The Duck Hunter

Monday, 10 June 2013

The Duck Hunter

Bedlam Humour

Jack Chambers sent in this joke
A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a pee. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor. "Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin. There was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all the pellets."

"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive pellet damage done to your penis, so I'm going to refer you to my sister."

"Well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"Not exactly." answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the London Symphony Orchestra and she will teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."

Next post - Bedlam Humour: The Irishman and the Muslim 

Saturday, 8 June 2013

The Irishman and the Muslim

Bedlam Humour

This is from Jack Chambers
A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey. The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He looked at her in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy immediately handed his drink back and said, "Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice!"

Next post: Bedlam Humour: Penis Size 

Monday, 3 June 2013

Penis Size

Bedlam Humour

This apparently is true


Republic of Congo - 7.1
Ecuador - 7
Ghana - 6.8
Columbia - 6.7
Iceland - 6.5
Italy - 6.2
South Africa - 6
Sweden - 5.9
Greece - 5.8
Germany - 5.7
New Zealand - 5.5
UK - 5.5
Canada - 5.5
Spain - 5.5
France - 5.3
Australia - 5.2
Russia - 5.2
USA - 5.1
Ireland - 5
Romania - 5
China - 4.3
India - 4
China - 4
Thailand - 4
South Korea - 3.8
North Korea - 3.8