Queen Elizabeth
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day. They both go before St Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St Peter must decide which of them gets in.
Dolly Parton
He asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, whereupon she takes off her top, flops out her gorgeous tits and outrageous nipples, and says, 'Look at these. They're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day for eternity.'
St Peter thanks Dolly very politely, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her handbag, shakes it up, and gargles. Then she spits into the toilet and pulls the lever.
St Peter says, 'Okay, your Majesty, you may go in.'
Dolly is outraged, stuffs her tits back into their holders, and asks, 'What the hell was that all about? I show you two of God's most exquisite creations and you turn me down. She simply gargles and spits and she gets in. Would you explain that to me?
'Sorry, Dolly,' St Peter says, 'but even in Heaven a royal flush always beats a pair, no matter how big they are.'
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