Tuesday, 14 October 2008

One-Liner jokes!

Okay! So here are one or two One-Liners from The Edinburgh Festival I thought you might like to share.

My thanks to Fred Devenney for sending them in :-

  • I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat - Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms

    Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation - Jimmy Carr

    The right to bear arms is only slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears - Chris Addison at the Pleasance

  • My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs - Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon

  • The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died .... Dido must be shitting herself - Colin & Fergus at the Pleasance

  • I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help' - Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron

  • Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time -Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms

  • It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake - Chris Addison at the Pleasance

  • If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that - Milton Jones at the Underbelly

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