Sunday, 9 October 2011

Teaching Maths - UK 1970 to a projected 2017

Bedlam - Humour

Ed Goldstraw sent in this joke:
 Teaching Maths In 1970
 A logger sells a lorryload of timber for £100. His cost of production is  4/5 of the price.
 What is his profit?

 Teaching Maths In 1980
 A logger sells a lorryload of timber for £100. His cost of production is  80% of the price.
 What is his profit?

 Teaching Maths In 1990
 A logger sells a lorryload of timber for £100. His cost of production is  £80.
 How much was his profit?

Teaching Maths in 2000
 A logger sells a lorryload of timber for £100. His cost of production is  £80 and his profit is £20.
 Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Maths In 2005
 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and  inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the  preservation of our woodlands.
 Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the  logger cuts down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

Teaching Maths In 2009
 A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be  offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the  felling license.
He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of  Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut  something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident  however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is
 therefore considered to be a habitual criminal.
His DNA  is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government  agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100  because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to  find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land.
He  tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an  ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in  jail again the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the  black market for £100 cash.
They also leave behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos  sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the  fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He  complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the  peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a  regulated government contractor.
Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be  arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20  profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state  for the rest of his life?

 Teaching Maths In 2010
 A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan  to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in  Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a  few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who  made the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax  on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer  meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. Some  Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back  on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their  cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their  relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to  deport them at the government's expense.
Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different  names and start again. The logger protests, is accused  of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old  lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The  Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are  not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the  difference on expenses and allowances.
 You do the maths.
Teaching Maths 2017

 أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج
 80 من
الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟= 20

Lol - love it, Ed. Thanks for sending it in.

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