Bedlam Humour: Nick the Dragon Slayer

Bedlam Humour

This joke was sent in by Ed Goldstraw from Leek, Staffs.

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with queenly large breasts.

Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.

Without pause, Nick readily agreed to the scheme

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed.

Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that, among all of the citizens of the kingdom, only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers.. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts.

The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and was hailed by both the King and Queen as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King and with a laugh told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear.

The King immediately summoned Nick . .
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The moral is, Always Pay your Bills

Next post - Bedlam Humour: Do the Maths

Supermarket Scam

Bedlam Humour

Here's another joke from Jack Chambers...

Over the last month I have become a victim of a clever 'Eastern European' scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into the supermarket for a bit of shopping turned out to be quite an experience.

Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking voluptuous 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift to another supermarket.

You agree and they both get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing, until both are completely naked. Then, when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately, and thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th,10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th and 29th. On October 1st, 4th, 6th, 10th and 13th and twice yesterday.

So please warn all the older men you know to be on the lookout for this scam.

PS. The best times seem to be just before lunch and about 4:30 in the afternoon.

Alzheimer; Viagra, and Breasts

Bedlam Humour

Apparently more money is spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer research...

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky 

boobs and huge erections but absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Joke - The hotel lobby

Bedlam Humour

John Evans has been kind enough to send in another joke.

A man bumped into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he did so, his elbow went into her breast. They were both quite startled.

The man turned to her in embarrassment. 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.'

She smiled coyly. 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221...'

Very funny. Thanks John.

Next post on Bedlam

Big breasts win, Serena Kozakura

Bedlam Humour

Fascination

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Most men are fascinated by breasts.

It seems that most are not lovers of absolutely huge tits, just nicely shaped ones. In certain circumstances though, it seems that bigger IS better.

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Court Verdict

Serena Kozakura, used to hate her body. For some reason she found her 44-inch bust a burden, but in this particular case, her large breasts helped overturn a court verdict.

He ex-boyfriend claimed she kicked a hole in his door, squeezed through, and wrecked his flat. However, it was apparently demonstrated that her breasts were too big to allow her to squeeze through.

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I suppose you could say the prosecution went arse-over-tit!

For the full story see this blog, Big Breasts Help To Win Verdict .

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• Next post, Coke and sperm.

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