This is from Joyce and Roy Critchlow, Newcastle under Lyme
Genuine classified advertisements which were placed in UK newspapers
Free - Yorkshire Terrier. 8 years old. Hateful little b......! Bites.
Free - puppies. Half Cocker Spaniel, half sneaky neighbour’s dog.
Free - puppies. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
For sale - Heifers, never bred. Also one gay bull.
Joining nudist colony, must sell washer and dryer, £100.
Wedding dress for sale. Worn once by mistake.
For sale by owner - complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.