Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Sex And The Need To Use Good English

Bedlam - Humour
Well I'm just back from a couple of weeks in the UK. The weather wasn't too bad until the day I returned.... Then it had to rain on us just as we were nearing Birmingham airport.

We were wet through by the time we'd dragged the luggage from where we had to leave the hire car. Still the journey down the motorway wasn't as bad as we'd been led to expect. There were no holdups on the M6 so we drifted smoothly along. Great.

It was red hot when we landed though. Just to welcome us back. Now I feel like I never went.

Edgar Goldstraw sent a few jokes whilst we were away, so I'll drip them in over the next few days.
On his 75th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.
The medicine man slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, 'This is powerful medicine. It must be respected. You take only teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.' When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."
The old man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" he responded, "But when she does, the medicine will not work again until next full moon."
The old man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Thanks Ed. Brilliant.

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