Showing posts with label old. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old. Show all posts

Saturday, 19 December 2015

I Can't Look That Old

Bedlam Humour

This joke was sent in by Gina and Malcolm Shenton from North Wales

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old?
Well...... You'll love this one!
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered: a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school class some 40-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park Secondary School.

'Yes, yes I did. I'm a Morganner! 'He beamed with pride.

'When did you leave to go to college?' I asked

He answered, ‘in 1965’. Why do you ask?

'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit, bastard asked..........  'What subject did you teach?'

Sunday, 21 August 2011

The Old Lady Doesn't Need to Forgive

Bedlam - Humour

Ed Goldstraw has sent in this great joke


Toward the end of his Sunday service, the  Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your  enemies?"
Eighty  percent held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All  responded this time, except one small elderly  lady.
"Mrs. Neely?  Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," she  replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old  are you?"
"Ninety-eight," she replied.
The  congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the bastards."  

Love it, Ed. Thanks for sending it. If you like it, please give it a thumbs up on Stumbleupon

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Looking for a good read
try Past Sins - contemporary fiction
or Short Moment - collection of short stories