I Can't Look That Old

Bedlam Humour

This joke was sent in by Gina and Malcolm Shenton from North Wales

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old?

Well...... You'll love this one!

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered: a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school class some 40-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park Secondary School.

'Yes, yes I did. I'm a Morganner! 'He beamed with pride.

'When did you leave to go to college?' I asked

He answered, ‘in 1965’. Why do you ask?

'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit, bastard asked..........  'What subject did you teach?'

Playground Pranks

Bedlam 



Here's a joke from John Evans:

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"

Before the mother could raise her concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, "Really small, was it?"

Sally replied, "No... Salty."

Mum fainted.

The Things Kids Say

Bedlam Humour

 Ed Goldstraw sent me this joke. Hope you like it...

A 1^st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you.

Keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1.	Don't change horses	Until they stop running.
2.	Strike while the	Bug is close.
3.	It's always darkest before	Daylight Saving Time.
4.	Never underestimate the power of	Termites.
5.	You can lead a horse to water but	How?
6.	Don't bite the hand that	Looks dirty.
7.	No news is	impossible
8.	A miss is as good as a	Mr.
9.	You can't teach an old dog new	Math
10.	If you lie down with dogs, you'll	Stink in the morning.
11.	Love all, trust	Me.
12.	The pen is mightier than the	Pigs.
13.	An idle mind is	The best way to relax.
14.	Where there's smoke there's	Pollution.
15.	Happy the bride who	Gets all the presents.
16.	A penny saved is	Not much.
17.	Two's company, three's	The Musketeers.
18.	Don't put off till tomorrow what	You put on to go to bed.
19.	Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and	You have to blow your nose.
20.	There are none so blind as	Stevie Wonder.
21.	Children should be seen and not	Spanked or grounded.
22.	If at first you don't succeed	Get new batteries.
23.	You get out of something only what you	See in the picture on the box
24.	When the blind lead the blind	Get out of the way.
25.	A bird in the hand	Is going to poop on you.

And the WINNER

26.

Better late than

Pregnant

Great stuff - really funny. Thanks Ed.