Silly One Liners

Bedlam Humour


Here are a few one liners that might tickle your fancy...

...The dead batteries were given away, free of charge.
... The local dentist and manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
... A will is a dead giveaway.

I Can't Look That Old

Bedlam Humour

This joke was sent in by Gina and Malcolm Shenton from North Wales

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old?

Well...... You'll love this one!

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his dental diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered: a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my secondary school class some 40-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park Secondary School.

'Yes, yes I did. I'm a Morganner! 'He beamed with pride.

'When did you leave to go to college?' I asked

He answered, ‘in 1965’. Why do you ask?

'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then the ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat-arsed, grey-haired, decrepit, bastard asked..........  'What subject did you teach?'

At The Dentist

Bedlam Humour

Ed Goldstraw has sent yet another joke.

The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
"No way! No needles. I hate needles", the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
"I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on suffocates me!"

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
"No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."

The dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra."
The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"

"It doesn't" said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth".

Thanks Ed. Very funny. I presume you're speaking from experience...