DRUGS
Drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.
After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. Announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day:
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time, "Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?"
He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?"
He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "Its really spoiled my need for food."
Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a Rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"
He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."
"Well," she says, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm f*****g starving."
The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
"No way! No needles. I hate needles", the patient said.
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
"I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on suffocates me!"
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
"No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."
The dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra."
The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"
"It doesn't" said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth".
All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.
After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.
Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drik'.
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.
This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
A man went to the doctor's office to ask for a double dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a double dose.
"Why not?" asked the man.
"Because it's not safe," replied the doctor.
"But I need it really desperately," said the man.
"How come, why do you need it so badly?" asked the doctor.
The man said, "My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday. My ex-wife will be here on Saturday, and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I must have a double dose. I'll never manage without."
The doctor gave a sigh and finally relented saying, "Okay, okay! I'll give it to you, but you have to come in Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects."
On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his right arm in a sling. The doctor said, "Whatever happened to you?"
The man flushed with embarrassment, "No one showed up."