The Old Lady Doesn't Need to Forgive

Bedlam - Humour

Ed Goldstraw has sent in this great joke

Toward the end of his Sunday service, the  Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your  enemies?"

Eighty  percent held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All  responded this time, except one small elderly  lady.

"Mrs. Neely?  Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she  replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old  are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied.

The  congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the bastards."  

Love it, Ed. Thanks for sending it. If you like it, please give it a thumbs up on Stumbleupon

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Looking for a good read
try Past Sins - contemporary fiction
or Short Moment - collection of short stories

The lady wanted cyanide

Bedlam Humour

The Lady Wanted Cyanide

Fred Ashford has sent in another joke. Hope you like it.

A calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes,and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license!"

"Just a small amount will do"

"They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen."

She pleaded with him, "I won't tell if you don't"

The pharmacist shook his head. "Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Thanks for that Fred - good one as usual. Keep 'em rolling.

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