Showing posts with label arabs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arabs. Show all posts

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Bedlam Humour: The Jewish Genie

Bedlam Humour

Once again, I'm indebted to Jack Chambers for sending a joke:

An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst.
He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered a Manischewitz wine bottle.
It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a genie. BUT this was no ordinary genie. This genie appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and tzitzis.

'Vell kid,' said the genie, 'you know how it voiks. You got three vishes.'

'I'm not going to trust you,' says the Arab. 'I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!'

'Vott'ya you got to lose? Looks ta me - you're a gonner anyvay!'

The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided that the genie was right. 'Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink.'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

'Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?'

'My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

'Okay kid, you got just vone more vish. Better you should make it a good vone!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

He was turned into a tampon.



THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you're an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie, there's going to be a string attached.

Way to go, Jack - very funny.

Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Am I Being Stalked?

This post has been removed due to outside harrassment.






Previous post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/library-to-play-host-to-local-guitarist.html

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Monday, 28 April 2008

Is it a Bird

All you had to do was ask, the pressure was unnecessary. The post has now been removed.

So mister secret agent, there is no need to hunt me down. PLEASE do not stop my blog functioning any longer. PLEASE do not cut me off from the internet any longer. I don't know how you did it, but don't do it again. Your post is safe.



See related post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/07/am-i-being-stalked.html
Previous post http://anthonyjamesbarnett.blogspot.com/2008/04/in-eye-of-beholder.html
Hub http://hubpages.com/hub/Novel--plot--theme

In the Eye of the Beholder

Bedlam Humour

Without wishing to appear racist, I recall a joke floating around concerning virgins, Arabs and camels - you probably know it, or one similar. It seems the joke has turned full circle.

Apparently the Crown Prince of Dubai has purchased a female camel for a breath-taking 1.7 million euros at a Beauty Pageant for camels! Beauty Pageant for camels? Are they taking the piss?


Cultural heritage.

They say the aim of the Beauty Pageant is to celebrate and preserve the region's cultural heritage - or is this really their run-up to the Miss World Competition?

I mean, a joke is a joke, but this is ridiculous! 1.7 million for an ugly bitch of an animal, that spits and slobbers? How can a camel EVER be thought of as beautiful?

Eye and beholder springs to mind! Maybe I'm a shade too picky, but your's is the one with long eye-lashes.