Silence In Court

Bedlam Humour

This joke is from Gina and Malcolm Shenton, in North Wales

Silence in court

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!"

The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom:

"Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"

Paddy stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I lived next door to that arsehole and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."

Bedlam Humour: a simple explanation

Bedlam Humour

Here's another joke from John Evans

The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an E-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in- law comes back with a big smile. "Paddy. I told you there would be a simple explanation .....she never got your E-mail."

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Next post - Bedlam Humour: When you grow up

Bedlam Humour: Paddy's wife has an affair

Bedlam Humour

This joke was sent in by Fred Ashford

Paddy caught his wife having an affair and tells her he is going to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head. His wife starts to smirk.

He glares at her and says "Don't laugh, you're next!!"

Next post - Bedlam Humour: E-mail 

Bedlam Humour: Paddy and the Mail Order Catalogue

Bedlam Humour

This joke was sent in by Fred Ashford

Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue. Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too."

Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"

3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"

"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!!

Next post - Bedlam Humour: Nick the dragon slayer