Playground Pranks

Bedlam 



Here's a joke from John Evans:

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"

Before the mother could raise her concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, "Really small, was it?"

Sally replied, "No... Salty."

Mum fainted.

Price Decides Everything

Bedlam

 

Once again, Ed Goldstraw has sent a joke:

Price Decides Everything

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

There were groans

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"

Its a Dog Day

Bedlam 

Ed Goldstraw sent this great video - very funny:

Recycling Investments

 Bedlam Humour

Thanks to Ed Goldstraw for sending joke:

• If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today
• If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company one year ago, you would have £33.00 today.
• If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers five years ago, you would have nothing today.
• If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would have nothing today.

However, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco's, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminium cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.

A Blonde goes to Heaven

Bedlam Humour Ed Goldstraw sent this joke: An Aussie Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' 'That's cool' said the Blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' 'Just three questions' said St Peter. 'Which are?' asked the Blonde. 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year'?The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' 'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.' So the Blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought.The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.' 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?' The Blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.' St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question. 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?' The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?' 'Easy,' said the Blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.' St Peter looked at the Blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?' The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.' 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?' 'It's Andy.' 'Andy??' 'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde. This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?' 'Easy' said the Blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.' And the Blonde entered Heaven...? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - For your next Kindle book, why not try a short story collection