Human Facts

Bedlam Humour

Here's another joke from Fred Ashford

• It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
• One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.
• The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.
• Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
• A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
• There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
• Women blink twice as often as men.
• The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
• Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
• If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
• Women will be finished reading this by now.
• Men are still busy checking their thumbs. 

Unusual facts until the last one - Lol.

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Next post - Bedlam Humour: The Leopard and the Mouse

The Leopard and the Mouse

Bedlam Humour - incredible photos This post was sent in by Fred Ashford - I think it is pretty amazing.    One Hungry Little Mouse! The extraordinary scene was captured by photography student Casey Gutteridge at the Santago Rare Leopard Project in Hertfordshire. The 19-year-old, from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire, who was photographing the leopard for a course project, was astounded By the mouse's Behaviour. He said: 'I have no idea where the mouse came from - he just appeared in the enclosure after the keeper had dropped in the meat for the leopard. He didn't take any notice of the leopard, just went straight over to the meat and started feeding himself.' 'But the leopard was pretty surprised - she bent down and sniffed the mouse and flinched a bit like she was scared. In the meantime the mouse just carried on eating like nothing had happened. .but even a gentle shove does not deter the little creature from getting his fill... 'It was amazing, even the keeper who had thrown the meat into the enclosure was shocked - he said he'd never seen anything like it before.' Project owner Jackie James added: 'It was so funny to see - Sheena batted the mouse a couple of times to try to get it away from her food.' But the determined little thing took no notice and just carried on.' Sheena was brought in to the Santago Rare Leopard Project from a UK zoo when she was just four months old. She is one of 14 big cats in the private collection started by Jackie 's late husband Peter in 1989. The African Leopard can be found in the continent's forests, grasslands, savannas, and rainforests. ....so the mouse continued to eat the leopard's lunch and show the leopard who was the Boss. Just proves no one can push you around without your permission. For your next Kindle book why not try a Short Story Collection Next post - Bedlam Humour: Don't Mess WIth Old Ladies

Don't Mess With Old Ladies

Bedlam Humour

Ed Goldstraw has sent in this joke

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the check-out counter.

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat  food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next day, she tried to buy two cans of dog food. Again the cashier said "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you dog food without proof that you have a dog. A lot of old people buy dog food to eat, but the management wants proof that you are buying the dog food for your dog."

So she went home and brought in her dog. She then was able to buy the dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out. She said to the little old lady, "That smells like shit."

The little old lady said, "It is. I want to buy four rolls of toilet paper."

So........... Don't mess with old people.

Love it, Ed. Keep 'em rolling.