Sunday, 11 December 2011

Sex and Batteries

Bedlam - Humour


Jack Chambers has sent another joke
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did... she's 21 and her name is Lucy.
Thanks Jack, I bet she doesn't know you've sent these in... Lol....

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Next post - Bedlam Humour: The Elderly Couple

Saturday, 10 December 2011

The Elderly Couple and 24 inches

Bedlam Humour
Ed Goldstraw has sent yet another joke.
An elderly couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?"

The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?"

"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.

"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"

"No, it's turned black."

Lol, love it, Ed. Very funny.
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For your next Kindle book, why not try a millionaire romance





Next post - Bedlam Humour: Junk Mail

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Did you ever stop and wonder

Bedlam - humor


Ed Goldstraw has sent another series of funnys:


Did you ever stop and wonder.......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Thanks Ed - is there no end to your store of humour? Love 'em...

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